I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
