I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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