Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
