Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
