I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
