Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
True strength comes from lack of pants
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
