you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
