Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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