On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
