If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Holy shit dude........stairs
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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