I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
