LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
