If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
