the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
