hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
