why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
