Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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