theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
