I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
