Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We're too hungover to prance.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
