i think my tv is drunk
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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