I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
