I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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