Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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