the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
