I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
