I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
