at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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