Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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