Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
