Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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