Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
