A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
