I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
