I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
