Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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