I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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