maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
