If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
