On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
