so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
