are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
