My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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