Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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