windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
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