So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
