i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
