we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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