i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
