i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
