Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
